#what did u need the hets for
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so yesterdat i was tryna get back to drawing by drawing sns being gay (confesssion) but in the middle i was struck by dejavu, then i realized iw as basically redrawing the âbecause ur my friendâ scene
#sasunaru#narusasu#naruto#sasuke#round fox baby#narutoâs boyfriend#my art#comic#my comic#kishimoto u rly fucking did this#u rly rly fucking made such a#gay ass scene and then killed us all#u greedy ass man u wanted it all didnt u#what did u need the hets for#u coulda survived with the fujos#sigh
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i do love abbott elementary but that shit is sooooo corny . itâs v millennial and seems custom made for equally corny think piece articles about it to be published in the opinion column of the nyt
#the bradly cooper cameo was soooooo fucking stupid and then i look online and itâs millennials in the atlantic and on twitter praising it .#of course#did u guys know that schools are underfunded but that teachers do the most with what they have đ„čđ„čđ„č . well i do bc they hit you over the head#with it as often as physically possible in a 20 minute show#they just love to state the theme like bro we SEE it you donât need to have barbara say the same line about it 15 times omg#SORRY . haterism over it is genuinely really funny but goddamn#one more thing i hate janine and gregory i hate the comedy show slow burn het couple requirement BOOOOOOO
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#vent post pls dont feel the need to respond or read!#FUUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK FUCK MY LIFE I ACTUALLY SUCK SO MUCH I LITERALLY DONT UNDERSTAND WHY I DID THAT#LIKE?????? U WOULDVE THOUGHT I LEARNT THIS BY NOW AND HET#I KEEP GOING INTO THINGS WITHOUT THINKING AND GETTING STUCK IN STUPID SITUATIONS AND THEN I LOOK BAD#and then i feel outcast and its literally my own goddamn fault#i cant even blame anyone or anything else#and now im stuck here til saturday#and everyones gonna fucking know the stupid fucking shit i did#and i never have to see these people again but i do have to see them for the next 3 days#man i had a bad fucking feeling aboht this gd project#like from the beginning#and my bosses did too#but fuck ibjust thought itd be fine#and like again it was all my fault anyways!!!!!#even my brain who tends to shirk off responsibility and try to make excuses for myself#isnt able to do it this time#every time i think 'welllll you did it bc x was happening and THAT happened bc X happened'#my brain goes 'ya but you didnt have to do THAT you literally know better????'#like thinking abiut it now hours after i have no fucking clue what i was thinking. no fucking clue.#fuck my fucking life#this is 109% lighthearted i swear do not worry about me but the only words that describe how im feeling right now#are: im gonna fucking kill myself#/j /j /j /j /j /j#i honest to god wont but that perfectly encapsules the feeling rn#vent post
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Media literacy or analysis skills or whatever you call it is so bad that i have to defend MEN in fandom.
Or I would if I participated in fandom but that doesnt change that seeing popular/accepted takes makes me want to die.
#fandom is great aka terrible because it doesnt matter if the main ship is gay lesbian or het#the vast majority of the shippers are het or bi and you can tell from the way they do it#not the fandoms im complaining about in the post but this reminded me of rgu and i NEED to ban hetties and queerios from it#as for what i was comlaining about...#its that they took a nuanced brown teen whos a victim of colonisation/imperialism and blamed him for the actions of everyone else#like how r u blaming him for thing the master manipulator did#it does both her and him so dirty#my queen did not spend two decades settig this up and having everyone in the palm of her hand for it to be blamed on a 17 year old#like she is so fucking cool and i love her as the villain and bcos nobody has a brain they cannot appreciate her properly
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how was it working at the adult store. cuz i remember u making posts like men coming in and saying shit like they dont know how to make their wives cum but whats the craziest thing that ever happened to u there
lmao thats such old lore. yeah it was fun. we walked out and the location closed which was neat. underpaid. but uh yeah nothing wild happened besides the fun/odd clientele. and like....the aggressively horny people who would insist on a product cuz they need it then and now (and would even attempt to buy the testers), the people whod want to return dirty used stuff, the every day people who had no idea how to make their gfs/wives cum (including many who thought their cis gf's g spot was in their assholes) and the het couples who were always made up of attractive and incredibly sweet girls and their super hostile boyfriend (who i would purposely antagonize and make it clear i know more about their gf than he does to have some fun while making barely above minimum pay as management lol) some standouts:
guy who had a legitimate insurance papers for coverage for a penis pump because he got shot and the nerve damage gave him uncontrollable erections apparently???
someone who bought a stroker, called minutes later saying it was an amazing recommendation, and then was found by us still in the parking lot. so he uhhhhhhhhh jorked it in the car
customer came in super nervous, bought a bunch of shit, we offered him a discrete bag and he was VERY adamant about having the branding on the bag. he got outside the door, started waving every product in the air and yelling about it. next day we get one of our regular dommes in and it was one of her clients who had a humiliation kink and she put him up to it lmao
customer in her 80s came in with two friends of the same age. i only know her age bedcause as soon as she came in she yelled YOU GUYS HAVE TO ID ME IM A YOUNG WOMAN! so i did it lmao. told us her friends were cheating on their partners and their partners died so now they're together. showed her around the store. said she was proud of me and gave me candy from her bag. mvp customer
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Undisclosed Desires - Part 23
Joe Goldberg x female!reader
Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you. Words: 867
Masterlist
We already see Joe killing Ron on the show. I figured I don't have to describe it again. Besides, things are getting interesting...
DISCLAIMER: the towns and situations described in this chapter are fictionalized. There is no Nehalenia College in Koewacht. IDEK what is in Koewacht. (Koe means cow, so maybe a lot of cows??)
I have been very busy these last three days, (Y/n).
Nobody will miss Ron, but I miss you and I have been neglecting you. I feel bad. We have only texted a few times, and you say you are busy and jetlagged. But I can tell youâre just giving me an excuse to be distant, because when I text you, you respond right away.
I have been a bad boyfriend, but I think if you knew why I was so busy these last few days, youâd forgive me. I hope you would, but I canât exactly tell you, so instead I just lounge on your bed and I text you:
ME: Hey lovely.
YOU: hey!
ME: What are you up to?
YOU: well itâs 8 pm
YOU: so nm
YOU: watching this dutch talk show w my grandpa
YOU: hes annoyed im on my phone lol
ME: Go watch the show, (Y/n). I donât want to piss off your grandfather before I even get there.
YOU: yessir! love u
ME: I love you, too.
I am so tired. I was hoping we could call for a little bit, but if you're at your grandparentsâ house, I don't want to push it. Instead I take a shower in your bathroom and use your soap so I smell like you. Then, in my own, clean clothes which I keep at your place, I get on your bed and take out your laptop.
As always, your WhatsApp texts are open. I haven't checked them much since we got together - we are good together and I don't need to know everything you talk about with everyone - but there are new texts from a name I don't recognize.
And you are texting this person right now. I thought you couldn't be on your phone?
The texts are in Dutch, but they started about an hour ago and there aren't that many yet, so I take the time to translate them.
MITCH: hey hey! heard you're in NL? wanna get together?
YOU: sorry man, kinda busy
MITCH: ouch. did you just blow me off?
YOU: uhhhh kinda?
YOU: it's nothing personal
YOU: my boyfriendâs coming in 2 days
I smile.
MITCH: since when do you have a boyfriend lol
YOU: a few months now
MITCH: and i guess itâs serious?
YOU: pretty serious
MITCH: wtf
YOU: ?
MITCH: i kinda thought we had a thing, you know?
YOU: mitchâŠ
YOU: you gotta get over this
MITCH: and what is it you think i have to âget overâ?
YOU: you know what
That last message, you sent while I was reading the other ones, and I have to translate it separately. Apparently Mitch does know what, because he doesnât respond anymore. But I donât know what, and I really wish you would specify.
You send a message to Nadia:
YOU: guess who just texted meâŠ
NADIA: Who?
YOU: mitch
NADIA: Ew. Block him.
Thank you, Nadia!
YOU: i canât just block him đ you know what happens when i block him
NADIA: You want to stay at my place tonight?
YOU: could i? i donât wanna tell my grandparents about thisâŠ
NADIA: Hey, at least Joe will be here soon! Then you wonât be all alone in your big scary AirBNB.
YOU: lol
YOU: i canât wait tho
YOU: đđ
I frown. Normally Iâd be happy that you canât wait for me to get there, but right now I just want to know who this Mitch guy is.
He is not on your Twitter and he is not on Nadiaâs Instagram. All I have are his texts to you and looking for his number on Google does absolutely nothing.
But when I look up your high school, along with Mitchâs name and yours, I finally find something interesting: two news articles with your names in them.
I Google your name again. Thereâs your high school picture. You went to Het Nehalennia College but when I try to translate the rest of the text again, I still canât make sense of it - it must be full of spelling errors, because some words just will not make sense.
I try to look Mitch up, using all sorts of combinations. Your school and his name, his name and yours... Nothing.
From: Omroep Zeeland, June 21st, 2017
KOEWACHT - YESTERDAY AT 3:00 in the afternoon, high school student at Nehalennia College, Mitch Wegganger, was arrested on suspicion of stalking and attempted assault against his classmate, (Y/n) (Y/l/n). The stalking allegedly started after (Y/l/n) stood up for Wegganger against a classmate in March. (Y/l/n) did not return our requests for comment.
From: Omroep Zeeland, June 23rd, 2017
KOEWACHT - HIGH SCHOOL STUDENT Mitch Wegganger - who was arrested early this week on suspicion of stalking his classmate (Y/n) (Y/l/n) - was released this morning after (Y/l/n) withdrew her report. Wegganger: âThis is all a huge misunderstanding. I didn't stand outside (Y/n)'s house and hurt her. I just wanted to talk to her.â
(Y/l/n) is still unavailable for comment.
I canât believe this.
You, (Y/n), have a stalker.
And you didnât tell me about him.
#joe goldberg#penn badgley#you netflix#joe goldberg imagine#joe goldberg x reader#imagine#joe goldberg x female!reader#joe goldberg x y/n#joe goldberg x you#x reader
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This Week in BL - all these kisses Korea, are you feeling okay?
Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.
Sept 2023 Wk 2
Ongoing Series - Thai
I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 5 of 12 - I did think the sketch was done AFTER theyâd become lovers. Meanwhile, I do enjoy the creepy slipping through time moments, adds nicely to the tension. Iâm sublimely uninterested in all the hets but that's normal for me. Bit of a slow episode, but I'm looking forward to next week.Â
Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 5 of 12 - Cohabitation trope activated. Also "lovable grandma" is a new BL archetype I can get behind. Honestly PerthChimon's dynamic is good, itâs fun to watch a Thai BL where the leads are actually both stellar actors. Thereâs no stilted awkwardness to their dialogue back & forth or other interactions. I also like having MarcPuwin back on my screen. NO DAMN SINGING. Finally a fun twist on the faen fatale.Â
Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 10 of 12 - I like that weâre seeing actual realistic consequences of coming out. Not the big parental freak out, but the small nasties of opening up as an everyday queer. This is rare in BL. Â
Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 3 of 8 - Lap sitting, lots of kissing, one arm counter lift - thank you, boys. Stupid tiny dog (not a euphemism). Is it just me or does Max look extra pretty these days? Anygay, itâs all quite silly and I'm mildly enjoying it. Â
Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 11 of 12 - I remain enamored of Big Daddy & the Hot Doc but nothing else.Â
Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 3 of 10 eps - Their history and the consequences of the confession to their friendship all seems a little sad & cruel. But also itâs just this pulp, ya know?Â
(10 points to the True Geek who gets that reference.)
Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 6 of 10 - I want Mewâs momsâ story as a GL. (Not from this team, of course.) Ah even Sand can be a lying creep, best not to like anyone in this show... frankly, best just not to like this show. And ya know what, I'm pretty sure I really don't.
Could I make something clear? You canât "steal a lover from someone." That's puerile thinking. That lover wants to go. Itâs the loverâs fault (if anyone) not the one who stole that lover, no matter how much an asshole Top is. Sandâs ex is at fault, not Top. And screw Sand for thinking that way. Like his ex wasn't a whole person in their own right capable of making decisions?
My Universe (Sun iQIYI) ep 3-4 Marry Go Round of 24 eps - The premise of this is dumb. The pair is fun. They still kiss great. The actors are good. Crap story. What can you do? Donât watch it. 5/10Â
I need to rewatch Destiny Seeker now.Â
Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 5 of 10 - Omg. Too stupid to live. Why am I still watching this? How many more? Ugh.Â
Ongoing Series - Not Thai
Why R U? (Korea Wed iQIYI) eps 7-8fin - SaifahZon (no matter what country) are probably the softest enemies to lovers ever put on screen. Yes they are very cute and I like them better than the original. However, no one can out do ZeeSaint for the count down kiss on the rooftop. All in all, I enjoyed the final 2 eps, very cute. I liked this BL a lot but Iâd love to know what somebody thought who hadnât seen the original.
Ultimately, what can I say about Why R U? Korea?
Korea decided to remake, of all possible Thai BLs, Why RU? And that is exactly what we got: a short form, clean & pretty, uneven chemistry, slightly confusing, all the same tropes KBL that kind of cliff-noted the original but with none of the heat or complex relationship dynamics. I just ⊠what world is this? Because it is BOTH bizarro land, and EXACTLY what I expected. How do I rate something like that? In the end I have to go back to simple questions: did I like it, would I rewatch it, and would I recommend it? Yes. Probably. And probably not. What the actual hell reality? 8/10Â
You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 1-2 of 10 - Office romance, broken-grumpy + innocent-sunshine. (Also cutie devil meets angel bestie hotties.) Gotta say, Taiwan is awfully good at moments of recognition. I sense some whipping boy and obsession incoming, looks good on you, Taiwan. Do I like it? Of course I like it!Â
Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 5 of 13(?) - Taiwan never met a trope it didnât wanna play with. Teacher student + secret relationship, thereâs only one bed but they slept together on the floor anyway... itâs a trope gum ball machine. I'm not mad, a bit confused, but who cares.
My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 5 of 8 - Uh-oh baby is sad. Yo is such a drama queen - I respect that in a boy. Also, I love it that W took it as and excuse to play Real Boyfriends. Also leaning v obsessive stalker there Japan. As expected you had to go there. Carry on, you do (and track on your creep app) you.
Minato's Laundromat Season 2Â AKAÂ Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2Â (Japan Thu Gaga) ep 11 of 12 - Ugh. I kind of enjoyed seeing Minato in pain and having to work for the relationship for a change. But thatâs just because Iâm so frustrated with his character this season and I want him to SUFFER. Sides are cute tho. I like them better this season.Â
It's Airing But...
Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - I just canât. The sound. DNFÂ
Bump Up Business AKA Bump Up Project (Korea movie) original cinema release was 9/15 but MDL indicates it's been moved to October so I'll shift my dates. Last status update. Love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). Kpop boy group OnlyOneOf signed on to star. Theyâve been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV series in this post. Itâs from Idol Romance who will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You).
In case you missed it?
What Did You Eat Yesterday? is now available on Gaga. If you enjoyed Our Dining Table, you will enjoy this.Â
I did a quick analysis of 2 different acting styles based on these 2 boys here.
Boyband, I finally watched the 6 eps that are available. It aired earlier this year and was hard to find. For good reason it turns out. Yes itâs about a Thai boyband so I skipped all the singing bits. I like the actor playing Juju (Brothers). Also hi Art, are you actually ageless? Lots of other familiar faces popped up like Copter, Max, Fluke. It actually started as a solid little story (if not much of a romance). The stuff with the organizers was v boring and there were 2 het sides but the rest of it was palatable. Operative word being was. Something happened around ep 3, like they lost funding as well as distribution and it just... fizzled. No real ending, no character dev, no story resolution, just blank. Itâs like it DNFâd itself. 3/10 I donât know what I just watched and neither does it.Â
Next Week Looks Like This:
Still To Come In September
9/26 I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one whoâs good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the otherâs side, but not together in the way they truly want to be. No matter how hard they try, their hearts cannot reach each other.
9/27 Absolute Zero (Thai iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally bring us this âtime loop to prevent tragedyâ romance. We donât always get HEAs from them, so I'm on my guard.
9/27 Bon Appetit (Korea iQIYI) - from 2022, 8 eps from GoGo Studio, romance between an office worker who lives off junk food and the man next door who cooks well.
9/? Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam YouTube?) - it's Vietnam so your guess is as good as mine.
2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).
THIS WEEKâS BEST MOMENTS
Just look at the PRETTY! His makeup is flawless this series. I don't know who GMMTV hired new for makeup recently, but this ain't Thai style, this genius trained at the feet of Korea's finest. You keep that bitch (hon. gender nu) around, GMMTV, ya hear? (Hidden Agenda)
Gah, I love Yai so much. He tries so hard. He's such a sweet earnest character. He's like the angel-baby opposite of Chan (devil-baby) but they both my 2023 babies. (I Feel You Linger in the Air)
You know I love it when a BL gets meta about tropes. Here's Why R U?K calling out enemies to lovers.
Kabedon!
Yes we like all the snacks, thank you Korea. Your BL is basically snack food anyway. I'm not mad about it.
SWITCHES! I love it when we get this kinda thing. (All Why R U? Korea)
It me in all horror movies and whenever a boy starts to sing in a BL. (Venus in the Sky)
(Last week)Â
#I Feel You Linger in the Air#Dangerous Romance#PerthChimon#MarcPuwin#Hidden Agenda#Thai bl#Why R U?#Why R U? korea#Why R U? review#BL review#You Are Mine#taiwanese bl#this week in BL#bl news#BL reviews#boyband the series#boyband review#korean bl#japanese BL#Rakutan Viki
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WOOP WOOP guess whos baaaaaaack. anyways yeah. ik i promised knifeplay but I SWEAR ON PAPA HET it will be in the next part. only after reading did i realize how bad i am at writing p in v smut. please reply and reblog if you like my fic ! <3
warnings: extreme dubcon (like seriously im blurring the line between dub and non but like its all 100% consensual they're just roleplaying), p in v, hair pulling, squirting, dacryphilia, post-kink-action consent (again roleplaying a dubcon situation), pet names, i need to have his children *cough cough* i didn't say anything, james refers to reader as "my perfect little girl" not in a ped0ph1l1c way but like in size ykwim, morning-aftercare, soft!james (aaaaaa), fluff, he bathes her, food
dear fucking god this started to get really (really) dark but i stopped myself but lmk if u guys want dark stuff!<3
"Won't everyone else hear us?" you asked nervously.
"Ah no, they're all gettin' shitfaced at some bar probably."
You grinned at his remark and let him lead you to his room.
The walls were black wood panels running vertically. The paint was rubbed away at a few spots, and the furniture was just the same. A king-size bed lay in the middle, with the headboard touching the wall and the footboard jutting out just shy of the center of the room. There were two identical small dressers directly across from the bed, and a red easel mirror separating them. You let out a small gasp as you took in your surroundings. It truly was a gorgeous room, and you felt as if you desperately needed to live here. As you were distracted, James took the time to observe you, grinning at your child-like wonder. He too had been amazed at how beautiful it had been. He knew that he needed someone to share it with. One thing you noticed was that the headboard was made oddly; instead of one flat board of wood, it had been carved at the top into an ornate pattern, and the middle of it had a checkered cutout. You instantly knew that it wasn't just a headboard, it was specifically to be tied to. You swallowed hard, thinking about being tied up, unable to escape, forced to succumb to him, to let him have you in every way possible. He noticed your special interest in the bedframe and told you so.
"Yeah, I like it too. Its gotta be my favorite thing in the whole house," he spoke. He chuckled, then walked up to your back. He leaned down to whisper, "well, not my favorite thing." You sighed at being called his favorite thing. The thought that you could just be his toy drove you insane, whimpering for more. If he noticed your turmoil, he didn't show it. Instead, he backed away from you and fiddled with his pocketknife through the denim. He knew exactly what to do with it, he just had to do it. That was gonna be the tricky part. Once your mind left the room and focused back on James, you remembered what you were here for. For him. For the pleasure he would send shooting down every nerve in your body. You blushed at the thought of you cumming around him, screaming his name, growing more and more overstimulated as he chases his own high, not caring that you had reached yours first. You turned to face him, your heart nearly beating out of your ribcage.
"I'm ready."
He strode towards you, a smug look on his face.
"Tell me, what are you ready for?"
"...I...want you to fuck me. I was nervous before, in the woods, because I didn't know what this would be like, but I know I'll like it." You grinned as you leaned forward, standing on your toes to reach his lips. At first, he resisted, just to see how desperate you were. But one swipe of your tongue across his bottom lip convinced him. He grabbed the backs of your thighs, and you understood, allowing yourself to be hefted into his arms. You hooked your ankles together behind his back, you dug them in as you felt his cock, straining against the fabric. You loved the feeling of the rough material on your soft clit, but you remembered his rule. He pulled away. "I've been waiting for that. Waiting for you. Waiting, watching, I can never tell the difference." He dove down to your neck, licking at the bruises. He started towards the bed, gently laying you on the soft blanket. He began grinding himself against your thigh, thrusting wildly. After all, you had denied him earlier. However, he wasn't going to let himself go just yet. He detached himself from your throat as he pulled his cock back out of his jeans, still throbbing and angry from its ruined release. He moaned as he felt his hand tug his length, he needed to cum, and he needed it now.
"On your hands and knees, pretty girl."
You complied as you could feel the throbbing start between your legs again. Soon, you had your nose pressed into his bush again, and you were choking around him. He didn't offer words of encouragement this time. He wasn't going to wait any longer. He had an iron grip on your hair as he fucked your mouth. He was a grunting, sweaty mess by the time you could fell his head pulsing at the back of your throat. You tried to pull away again, to tease him again, but he was smarter this time, not letting you go. He continued until you could feel the hot, salty cum dripping down your throat, filling up your mouth. He came with a moan, the sound imprinting itself into your very soul, echoing in your ears. Once he had caught his breath, he tilted your head up, still holding your hair, and told you to open your mouth.
"Swallow."
You obeyed. You opened again to show him, and he grinned.
"Such a good slut for me, my little girl," he cooed as he stroked your sore scalp.
"Since you've been fairly good, you want me to fill up that tight little cunt? You want me to make you scream my name, cum all over me like the little whore you are?"
You moaned at his words and nodded, eyes clouded with lust. You were drunk. You hadn't touched a bottle since the concert, but you were drunk. On him, on the way he so lovingly degraded you, how you knew he would take care of you in the best ways, how he would love you in the worst.
"I want to be yours."
There it was. The look you had seen onstage, the wolf's glare as he stalks his prey. Those 5 words had transported him somewhere else. They made him someone else. Mine. The word rang through his head as he took you in. On your knees, hands folded in your lap, a lustful look on your face. You were almost made to be dominated. He decided he would make you obey. You would obey his every command. He would get what he wanted, no matter the cost. You were his. His little fucktoy. He grabbed your cheeks in one hand, earning a strangled gasp from you.
"You're gonna regret saying that sweetheart," he sneered as he pushed you on your back. You couldn't see him as you heard his clothing hit the floor, but you knew he would have the hottest body. He leaned forward, chain swinging from his neck just less than a foot above you. He positioned himself between your legs, and you instinctively wrapped them around him. You wanted nothing more than to kiss him as he inserted himself, but he wanted to be inside you as soon as possible. He needed to feel you practically split in two from his girth. He needed to see tears running down your cheek as you tried to distinguish pain from pleasure. His wish was granted as he locked hands with you, and slowly pushed himself inside. He watched as you tried to escape the stretch, the excruciating pain.
"Shhhh, I know, I know. It's gonna be okay," he said in a calming voice as you groaned through your teeth. He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and wiped a stray tear from your cheek. It was a few minutes before he bottomed out, but it felt like an hour. Every couple of inches or so, he would stop and let you adjust. It took all of his will to not slam right into you and rail you straight in oblivion. He knew damn well if he did, you wouldn't be able to walk properly for at least a couple weeks, and that wasn't even his ego talking. He continued to caress your cheek as he stared at your entrance, how nicely he stretched you. As soon as he could feel your wetness against his pelvis, he slowly pulled out, assuring you through the pain. He repeated his process several times, before you finally spoke up.
"Fuck me, please, faster" you half-whispered. More tears had accumulated at the corners of your eyes, spilling over the edge and collecting in your hair.
"It's gonna hurt for a few minutes, but I promise I'm gonna make you feel so fucking good. I promise." He slowly picked up his pace, careful to move in as straight a line as possible. He still held your hands in his own. He squeezed tighter as he pushed in, and slowly released as he came back out. You tried to remain as quiet as possible, but it was no use. The only sounds in the room were your moans, his pants, and your pelvis colliding with his. He would lean down and kiss you every once in a while, and could feel his tummy colliding with yours, which almost made you cum on the spot. You found pleasure in the way his bush brushed against your clit upon bottoming out. Your vision was foggy, your legs were almost numb. He was right. You were in pure fucking euphoria, and you hadn't even cum yet. You watched him watch himself drill into your hole. His eyes only left when you freed yourself of his grip and reached your hands around his neck, bringing him in, close enough so you could whisper.
"aa...aaaaa.... Jamie....fuck.... feel so fucking good......aaaaaaaa"
He threw his head back, reveling in the accelerated pleasure. Your whimpers and moans, badly masked, pushed him way closer to the edge than they should've. You could feel the coil tightening, looking at the sweat running down his forehead, arms locked and flexed, the only thing keeping him upright. The way his chain bounced against his chest, even shinier with sweat. You came right then and there, squirting all over his abdomen and thighs. You nearly passed out. Your mouth opened in a silent scream as you convulsed, the hot liquid taking him by surprise.
"Ah fuck yeah.... just like that....thats my good girl.....fuck"
He began to rub at your clit, sending you into overdrive, making you clench as hard as possible. You screamed as he came, coating your walls. He only fucked you faster. He held onto your waist, bruising the skin, His moans were the only thing keeping you conscious.
"Fuck, thats my good fucking girl.........so fucking perfect...... fuck baby.."
He craned his neck, trying to focus on anything, anything other than your fucked-out features. He knew that the second he laid eyes on you, he would cum again. He pulled out just in time, groaning at the loss of stimulation. Your eyes were glazed over as you reached for him, pulling him into a bear hug. You cried into his shoulder as your walls fluttered around the mix of your cum. You could feel it leaking out as he pulled you upright, pressing kisses all over your face, licking the stray tears away. He stroked your back as you both caught your breath, recovering from your brain-melting orgasms.
"You were so good for me. So perfect. My perfect little girl."
You basked in his praise, still unable to fully form words, let alone sentences. You smiled up at him as he stroked your hair.
"Well, I don't know about you, but a bath sounds pretty damn good right about now." You nodded at him as he looked to you for an answer. He smiled softly and stood, walking to the bathroom across the hall. As soon as you heard water running, you fell asleep. You weren't sure how long you had slept, but the sun was shining through the window when you awoke. You tried to sit up, but your core throbbed. As soon as the pain washed over you, you remembered what had happened the night before. Ohmigod. After finding a massive t-shirt, you limped out of the bedroom. You didn't know where the kitchen was, but after exploring, you had finally found it. James was sitting down, eating a bowl of cereal and some eggs. He smiled as you entered the room. You offered him a grin as you slowly sat next to him, holding in a groan as you hit the chair. He put an arm around you, which you gladly accepted, and snuggled into his chest, almost falling asleep again.
"How are you feeling?"
"Feels like you're still in me," you grumbled. You winced as the words left your mouth. You had screamed yourself hoarse last night. His hand ran up and down your arm, trying to ease at least some pain. He chuckled at the remark.
"Well, was it worth it?"
You looked up, unsure of his question.
"What do you mean?"
"Whatever you think it means. Regrets?"
"None," you whispered as you kissed his cheek. A few minutes passed, which you filled with sharing his cereal.
"Oh, uh by the way, I ran a bath last night because I wasn't sure if you had any more energy left for it, but the offer still stands."
"Ugh, fine," you teased as you made your way to the bathroom. You were just reaching for the faucet, when you heard footsteps behind you. James pulled you back by the waist, placing you by the door.
"Nuh uh. I'm doing this. You just work on brushing your hair. I'll wash it, and your body too, if you want. You need to rest."
Your heart almost shattered at how caring he was. You couldn't stop grinning as you ran his brush through your hair. When you were done, you took off the shirt and slowly climbed in. The water was hot enough that you immediately went limp and groaned. God, this was amazing. It soothed your skin, made all the pain drift away like smoke in the wind.
"I don't think I've seen anyone enjoy a bath as much as you," he taunted. You opened your eyes to find him on his knees in front of the tub, hands resting on his thighs.
"Shut up, Hetfield," you smiled.
He held up his hands in defense, laughing. After what only felt like a few minutes of idle chit-chat, he began to pump shampoo into his hands, working up a lather. You pulled the shower curtain back farther and lifted your head off the edge of the tub, to give him better access. As soon as his hands began massaging your scalp, you felt a wave of contentment settle over you. You shifted so that your back was to him. He grabbed a towel off the shelf and put it against the side of the tub so you could lean your head back. He didn't care that he was getting soapy water all over his pants, he was just happy that you were happy. He continued massaging your head in silence. He could've sworn you fell asleep more than once, just while he was shampooing. He guided your head up, grabbed the sprayer, and, while holding a washcloth over your eyes, so as to not get any soap in them, rinsed your hair. He moved on to conditioner, brushing through your hair as he did so. He left the conditioner to settle as he lightly ran a loofa over your body, being extra careful around your labia and vulva. He could still see his handprints on your ass, and tracing them, asked, "do these still hurt?"
"They're just a little sore, but you can wash them."
He slowly ran the loofa across your ass, slightly proud that they were still there. He kept that to himself and carried on. Once you had been rinsed off, he helped you out of the tub and dried you off. He guided you to the bedroom, where he pulled a bag from under the bed.
"This morning, I drove down to a Walmart a few miles out and got you some stuff."
He pulled out a fresh pair of panties, and some pajamas.
"I figured we could just have a day in, if you have nothing else to do."
Your heart felt like it was going to erupt at any second. You teared up as you approached him. He could see your emotion and reached out his arms. He embraced you, running a hand through your hair, as you cried into his shoulder. You hadn't had this type of treatment from past lovers, and you never expected him to do all this for you. Especially when you thought this was just a one-night stand.
"What is it?"
"No one's ever done this for me. You're the first. The bath, the clothes. You're just so sweet, even to a one-night stand."
He looked confused as you spoke the last three words.
"Do you want this to be a one-night stand? 'Cause I don't."
"Are you sure?"
"Pff, why would I not be?"
You simply buried your face back in his chest. You stood like that for a few minutes, glad to have this time with him.
You eventually pulled away, unpackaging your clothes. You slid on the underwear and pajamas. He led you to the living room and sat you on the sofa. He went back to the kitchen, grabbing the snack foods he had gotten from Walmart. He came back out with a couple of boxes of cereal, some milk, some candy, and a massive tub of Moose Tracks ice cream. You snatched the ice cream and a spoon as soon as he set them down. He grabbed the second spoon, and you both worked on the tub as you watched trashy reality TV. God, this man was perfect.
#WHEW#james hetfield#papa het#i need this man in ways that would get me on a watchlist#ANYWAYS#james hetfield smut#papa het smut
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Hi hello,
Random question, but what do you headcannon cassie to look like and dress through-out her teens into adulthood? Both as wondergirl and as cassie? On that same vein, what adult superhero name do you like for her?
Anywhoosies, wishing u a great day!
late teenage into early 20s cassie is grappling with comp het pretty hard and tries to grow her hair out and dress more femme. she hates it but she doesn't know she hates it for a hot minute. this is both as wonder girl and as cassie because she barely exists as a civilian at all for a long time. "cassie sandsmark" publicly was wonder girl for a while, and she tried coming up with a fake name and identity to be a civilian again in tt03, but it was rough on her and she ultimately gave up on it.
so i think that really just weighs on her - she's a hero 24/7, she's leading the titans, she's basically letting the vigilante life consume her and she's gonna crash and burn out hard any day now. i think donna sees this and goes hey... you know you don't have to be exactly like me, right? in fact i think you need a vacation. let's go to themyscira for a bit. and its big sis lil sis bonding time but also for the first time cassie catches herself thinking um... women đł women? đł oh god. women đł and she has a whole crisis about it.
when she comes back from her vacation she does feel a lot more in touch with herself. the problem is that what she sees there (dissatisfied with her work-life balance, worn out, starting to confront her internalized homophobia) freaks her out. so she kind of has a crisis and hacks her hair off with a pair of scissors in the middle of the night and then looks in the mirror like. oh GOD. what did i DO??? oh god oh fuck who do i know who can fix this and won't ask me questions if i say i don't wanna talk about it hhghnggrhgnn...
so she shows up in kansas wearing a beanie at like 1am like kon Please. help. đ and she feels So guilty bc he's her ex and he's still kind and loving enough that he does get out of bed despite having an early morning with farm chores, and then he's all sleepily shuffling to the bathroom with her like here. sit. i'll fix your bangs. jeez. and the vibes are so... you know. bathroom light late at night spilling into the hallway. he's cutting her hair. krypto is peering at them from the doorway like why the fuck are you awake. cassie's on the verge of tears bc she wants to tell him why she did this but she's terrified it'd hurt him if she was like i think i was never actually in love with you
but when she finally says it he just stares at her. and then stares at her some more. and then he starts? laughing?? and at first she's kind of hurt like uh. that was serious and also pretty hard to say, what's so funny. and hes just almost in tears holding her hands in the bathroom by the sink like. cassie. ive been so scared of telling you i think im gay. for like. 3 months now. cassie i hooked up with an alien several weeks ago and i had a whole crisis i just refused to tell anyone about. um. yeah. and she's like. YOU WHAT? ALIEN HOOKUP? CONNER KENT? and hes like NOOOO WE ARENT TALKING ABOUT IT. YOURE A LESBIAN LETS TALK ABOUT THAT. but its like. oh! and they click back into place as best friends instead so much more easily than they ever dated. it's about the late night catharsis of it all.
this is a lot of words to say that after this i think she embraces the short hair and starts leaning into masc presentation again. i am a butch cassie truther for LIFE. get that girl some cargo shorts and a carabiner for her lasso STAT. i'm talking those truly heinous cargo pants that unzip at the knees to become shorts. formal cassie rocks the blazer with a bra underneath look. cassie lingerie is a tank top with no bra. she's butch to the bone baybee
as for her adult hero name, i still kinda waffle about it but i've Tentatively settled on "xenia"!! it's taken from one of zeus's epithets and has to do with hospitality, kindness, and the protection of strangers (yknow those rules about breaking bread with strangers etc, those are also called xenia). the og meaning had to do with the idea that a stranger could be a god in disguise so you should always honor strangers, but i think cassie would do a sort of converse of that with it, like i've got the power and i'm gonna use it to protect people i don't know, not for the idea of a boon but because it's who i am. still potentially workshopping this, though.
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i drew the mercs, miss pauling, admin, and my tf2 oc on the plane to uni đ
i did all of these a week ago and completely forgot to post them HAJAHAH miss p, the admin, and a rlly simplified ver of my tf2 oc miss lynn!! (zoey lynn hehe + js rambles abt her) under the cut
IM ACTUALLY REWORKING HER DESIGN RNNNN bcs i made her on the sims 4 LMAO and realised how much better and concise she looked, but i really wanna try and make her look like someone you'd js see irl? sooOOo tryna make her also recognisable from silhouette alone and blahablahblah tho she isn't the kind of character that would rlly make too much of a difference in the tf2 universe
i js wanted to make a loveable character LMAO who'd have more of an impact on the relationships and kinda the story?
i liked the idea of miss p having an extroverted bestfriend who's also her wingwoman bcs miss pauling is obvs an awkward lesbian mess who needs help in the love department, and vice versa bcs zoey is into scout and miss pauling is js so glad to have him move on n realise that they r better as friends!! and that he needs to be with someone who isn't annoyed by him 24/7 (IM SORRY, LWNAKS MY SELF-INSERTEDNESS GOT IN THE WAY HAHAHAHA I CANT HELP IT) also, i haven't rlly thought of any orientation for zoey... i'm thinking of her js being a het woman or js whatever u wanna interpret her as!! cuz her sexuality isn't a core thing abt her
she's an absolute harbinger of chaos who'd do anyt for money and some company (this girl has been hella lonely n stressed out of her mind and i'll explain why in an oc postđ€đ€) and even tho she never outright admits it, she does enjoy the freedom of violence she gets to have as a mann co assistant đ (which will ALSO make sense when i explain her background to u guys later on)
and bcs of her long experience w shady bosses and asshole customers she's had to deal within all the jobs she's had, she catches onto the administrator's whole thing with the australium fairly early into the job, but she's in tooooo deep now and is like "damn. do i get myself out of this fucked up job (that i am fucked up enough to actually enjoy) or do i stay bcs i literally have everything i've ever wanted....shit." like,, she did say she'd do anyt for money but at the cost of what đ [also MAN i wish we got that final comic so i can js make zoey's suspicions make sense??!?@ but in a way it js works bcs it's js this massive mystery that we don't even know of ourselves???? so likeee, im js assuming its smth rlly dangerous or smth bcs helen literally goes to the most insane lengths to get australium and finish off her final... thingy.. that uh DEBT is it... i forgot what she called it BUT WHATEVER BUSINESS SHE HAD TO ATTEND TO B4 SHE DIED QOABJASH]
OH AND YEAH, zoey hates how bossy the admin is and is an ass abt it at times, and the admin wants zoey gone so badly bcs shes an annoying little shit (which she is and honestly, her and scout can be annoying shits tgt <3) but miss p always convinces her to keep zoey BAGAHAHA and they do get things done much faster w zoey there sooOoOOo đđ€
i mean she does try to kill both miss p & l anyway but still, she can't deny that they r both good at what they do
BWOSBQJS BYE I DONT THINK ANYONE IS GONNA READ THIS AHAGAH BUT THANK YOU IF U DID đ I HAVE SM ABT ZOEY AND I RLLY WANT HER TO BE LOVEABLE AUGHWGS
#tf2#team fortress 2#team fortress 2 fanart#tf2 fanart#tf2 memes#tf2 mercs#tf2 scout#tf2 soldier#tf2 pyro#tf2 demoman#tf2 heavy#tf2 engineer#tf2 medic#tf2 sniper#tf2 spy#tf2 miss pauling#tf2 administrator#tf2 oc
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been thinking about it lately and Ascended Astarion = Dead Dove content and I'm not sure that's really understood, even by the writers. when I finally got around to the character I decided to ascend him with, I was SUPREMELY disappointed by the conversations options following it. it seemed like the dialogue choices were trying to push the narrative on my character that they made this choice w/o considering the consequences and they are bound to regret it. the closest I could get to answering his question of "why did u let me go thru w it?" was "I wanted u to be powerful".
but with that character? my accept Bhaal durge? that isn't the reasoning. at all. (related: "what do u want as a reward?" "ur body" was the closest answer my character could give. otherwise I'd've answered "murder :))")
for context, this run was born of a conversation w my friend discussing supposed content no one had seen bc "no one's that evil". we thought, what's more evil than killing literally every npc? I failed the conceit of the challenge immediately bc I can't handle senseless animal cruelty in my games. killing children? fine (u need a mod to do this in BG3, but I am thankfully plenty delighted to use mods), killing a neutral animal npc? no can do.
so I started this durge (they are the only character that can come close to "killing" Gale with that first interaction) run with the intention of killing everyone except Shadowheart (only a cleric of Shar can truly kill Aylin) and Astarion (bc I need to smooch him). (and there is a mod for playing an origin character as durge, which would have meant playing as Shadowheart, but I MUST smooch Astarion and I don't tend to do het or female romances, unless I'm forced to (*sighs dreamily* oh, Garrus Vakarian). I'm just not interested in that set of equipment in that way, so may as well just make a durge dude.) somehow something went wonky and Halsin ended up joining us and I was so perplexed I just allowed him to stay. (he's meant to attack if u destroy the grove but free him anyway, but instead he just showed up that night and went straight into his Moonrise spiel. is it bc the wolf Silver never aggro'd me and thus survived???) so I fixed the Shadow Curse all while killing every single humanoid and hostile animal in acts 1 & 2. including Thaniel, which makes Halsin's talks later in act 3 of getting news from Thaniel and the Grove hysterical. idk what I did but I sure as hell broke this poor man.
(on a related note, Halsin will give out to u when u accept Bhaal, but will still give u the "u have exceeding my expectations, also we should bang" in the same conversation. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I DID BUT IT'S DARKLY FUNNY.)
in the conversation when Astarion is expressing surprise that u let him go thru w it, my durge is just like, yes my motivation is that I like to kill ppl :))). it's not a sex thing for him (that is separate from the murder!), but he's still fine w the outcome. yes, Astarion looks down on him, but that's fine! he's allowed to be wrong about that, durge doesn't care. so long as Astarion lets him kill ppl he genuinely just does not give a shit.
(I actually had the idea that if Halsin were to ever rediscover his morals and tried to leave he'd ask Astarion to turn him so Halsin would not have a choice. as I said, this durge *does not fucking care*.)
this is probably the only character I will play that would let Astarion ascend bc I enjoy dead dove SOMETIMES, but not always or in large doses, but I get so few dialogue options that convey that in an rp sense! I don't think the writers/devs REALLY took that into consideration, sometimes. like, yeah, there are going to be ppl making fucked up choices but surely no one would go THIS far! for THIS reason! honey, u need to look up the Dead Dove tag on AO3, there are absolutely ppl making choices for those fucked up reasons.
(and I understand the whole "this confirms to Astarion about sex yadda yadda". even if that's not Tav/Durge motivation, that's how ASTARION would *interpret* it.)
(oh yes, and also, don't let Orin abduct Yenna. it doesn't matter whether u find out in camp or the sewers, Grub will not survive. I was devastated. if I'd known, I would have made sure Halsin was available for her, but she won't abduct a party member or someone ur romancing.)
long story short, I want to play a durge that even ascended Astarion finds unsettling. that's the dream.
Hello there, duck!
Your run sounds delightfully evil! I wish I could play one of those, haha, but I'm too soft hearted. My one evil run with my durge Salira was ended before even entering the grove because I felt horrible after getting rid of Gales hand! Seriously, I can barely take killing the squirrel as durge, and I always save Alfira because I feel horrendous otherwise!
(Fun fact, on all five runs I've done Yenna just vanished at some point and grubs was left standing in my camp, which was like...eh?)
And yes, Halsin is always somewhat of an issue, isn't he? He's just running around, causing mayhem in peoples games because he seems slightly bugged out, haha. I had one run, where he wouldn't go to the spot where we save Thaniel because he joined the fight against Marcus at Last Light and somehow got stuck, for some reason. Same run, none of his vocals would play, which was also very interesting. Everybody would make noise when they climbed or got hurt but Halsin was always silent and just there! And in another run the dude really straight up hated me - he was so mean and snappy, I swear to god he wanted my Durge dead - and then he suddenly went: "Hey you're super cool and strong and I just want to gently fuck you beneath the moonlight if you'll let me" and I was like: Say what.
Regarding the dead Dove: I've talked to people of Discord before, and some of them mentioned something similar a couple of times, but personally, I do think the writers actually knew what they were doing here!
Of course, I do agree that it relies heavily on the regret notion and that it somewhat shoehorns you into a certain narrative corner, I noticed that too when I was ascending him for research - I hated doing that, but all for the asks, haha - but I thought it was really fitting for what it is!
The bad ending, that is. I know we all somewhat forget that because of how people view him as a character, but ascension is the bad ending. Even on an evil run, where your character may have considered all options, it is very likely that Tav hasn't accounted for one very important part of being a true vampire.
The obsession.
It's still somewhat mild in the game, though definitely there, but it will only get stronger as time goes on, and it will probably get to the point that the only escape is death. Either his or Tav's. So, in the end, ascension will come with an armload of regret and the writers were making sure we know that.
And, on top of that, even if we let him ascend in a pursuit for power - or in in your durge's special case: murder :) - we still cast spawn Astarion aside because he doesn't fit our needs, thus making it very clear to him that who he is isn't enough and his behaviour is the price we now pay.
It's pretty much the same with all the other companions as well - justiciar Shadowheart and ascended Lae'zel, for example. However, it doesn't bother us as much, because we have different expectations towards ascended Astarion than, for example, dark justiciar Shadowheart. We don't expect a positive narrative here, a narrative where becoming shady-shar's loyal subject isn't an objectively dumb decision to make, so we don't mind the dead dove as much. It's exactly what we've been expecting - and Aylin even warned us how Shadowheart would change upon becoming a dark justiciar - so yepp. This went exactly how we thought it would and this is what we wanted.
Astarion, however, is a somewhat special case, because his bad ending is, by far, the one that gets the most romanticised. He's so heavily romanticised by so many, that the bad parts nearly start to fade, even with those who don't like the ascended ending. It becomes just 'the other ending', if you will.
And yet, it's still the bad ending.
Ascension is the bad ending for a character that we've somewhat given up on. That we misunderstood so deeply, mayhaps, that we traded his entire being for power and, quite frankly, beauty. We showed him that he isn't enough, we let the boy run and hide the only way he knew how and now we're faced with the consequences and yes, it's really dead dove but...what did we expect?
#the 'other ending' syndrome is really strong with astarion#like#I'm constantly reminding myself that yes this is the bad ending lady#don't let the tumblr confuse you#It's baaad#and for those saying âwhat beauty he doesn't change his face after ascensionâ - you can't fool me#I know how some of you start drooling once he growls and says 'you're mine'#That's the beauty I'm talking of#also yes the âmurder :)â was necessary#anon chose this vibe and who am I not to comply!#baldur's gate 3#bg3#baldur's gate#baldurs gate#astarion#baldurs gate 3#the dark urge#bg3 astarion#astarion ancunin#ascended astarion#dead dove do not eat
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it's me again. This time I wanna know what star trek ships u hate <3
julian/ezri. absolutely my number one most beloathed by a long shot. made even worse by the fact that theyâre two characters i love on their own. i hate that it positions ezri as a consolation prize/replacement for jadzia and i hate how it stalled out a lot of her potential. ezri is one of my top characters of all time and we only had one season with her and they devoted so much of her character development to that. i feel like a lot of people hate this ship because they see it as getting in the way of garashir but letâs be real garashir was never in a million years going to happen in the show. plus also ezri was the one who really got the short end of the stick in that relationship.
tom/bâelanna. tom is so horrible to bâelanna and she deserved way better. like jezri, itâs a relationship thatâs super detrimental to both characters. tomâs worst attributes come out around her and the fact that she puts up with it is just sad for her and a very unsatisfying character arc. unlike jezri i do think they had some potential, itâs cute that they both like tinkering and have theatre kid energy, but thereâs just so much sexism and racism written into their relationship in the show that itâs poisoned me against them. tpk is a different deal though adding harry totally changes the entire dynamic.
kira/odo. both incredibly interesting characters! extremely boring together. i hate how their relationship was all about odoâs feelings but unfortunately thatâs also the majority of 90s trek het relationships so whatâre ya gonna do. kira/cretak 4 life.
tom/chakotay. this one is mostly just baffling to me, it feels like a very quintessential 90s/00s straight womanâs gay ship between two conventionally attractive guys who just donât like each other very much. also iâm a hater about it because tuvok/chakotay is clearly the superior enemies to lovers ship and there doesnât seem to be nearly as much content for them.
seven/shaw. whyyy what did seven ever do to you people. people need to stop mistaking disrespect for sexual chemistry.
also anything involving vorik. i fucking hate that guy. they shouldâve airlocked him.
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The Sounds of Justice (6)
Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, mentions and descriptions of jail, car crashes, lying, manipulation, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).
Dutch translations from Google Translate:
Het spijt me dat ik je stoor. Â Mag ik alsjeblieft je telefoon gebruiken? - I'm sorry to bother you. Can I please use your phone?
Je bent hier veilig. - You're safe here.
Haast u niet. - Don't rush/Take your time.
Dankuwel. - Thank you (formal).
Chapter 6
Your awareness returned to you in a rush of thoughts. You werenât sure how long you had been unconscious. An hour? Two? What had happened to Sonny? Had he been dosed with the same drugs that you had? Or had he been simply knocked unconscious? You hoped it was the latter.Â
And what did the man who drugged you mean by âYouâre lucky the boss wants you alive and mostly uninjured?â You had so many questions and you knew that you wouldnât get any answers by lying where you were and giving in to the fear that your tumultuous thoughts were slowly feeding.
You couldnât hear any indicators that anyone was in the room with you but to be absolutely positive, you cracked an eye open as silently as you dared. Your vision was blurry however that cleared within two heartbeats and with your opened eye, you looked in front of you. You opened your other eye and looked to the left and the right before examining the area behind you.
Fortunately, there was nobody there. You took note of your surroundings and after it registered that you were apparently still in the warehouse, you braced yourself on your knees and stood up. Your legs trembled alarmingly and you seriously thought that you were going to fall. Your fear returned and it was stronger this time.
âCourage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear â not absence of fear.â You breathed. Whispering the quote from Mark Twain helped to distract your brain from the sense of fear that you were feeling and your breathing eased.
You mouthed the words of the quote twice more before you felt composed enough to begin making your way around the warehouse to search for Sonny. All the lessons from the NCIS training that you experienced as a probationary agent came whooshing back. You moved quietly back the way you had come and you spied yours and Sonnyâs weapons discarded in front of the locked warehouse doors.
As you drew closer to them, you noticed a familiar shape lying between you and the weapons starting to stir.
âSonny.â You uttered in a quiet exhale.
The detective let out a groan and then promptly covered his mouth. His blue eyes darted around the warehouse jerkily and he sagged in relief when he noticed that you were the only other person in the warehouse.
âAre you hurt?â He questioned quietly.
Your admiration and respect for the man grew. He was just knocked out and his first question was about your welfare. You shook your head, âI know how the victims are drugged. They did it to me but I think itâs mostly worn off. Either that or I was given a lower dose. Our attacker said something about his boss wanting me alive and mostly uninjured. Did heâŠ?â
Sonny knew you meant your attacker. He was about to respond to your question when the both of you heard a car door slam and footsteps approach the entrance to the warehouse. Sonny put a finger to his lips and looked longingly at his gun that was lying a few centimetres away. You understood his desire to scoop up his gun but neither of you could risk making any sound and grabbing your guns to arm yourself might draw the attackerâs attention to you. And that would lead to an even worse scenario than the situation you and Sonny found yourselves in.
A voice reached your ears and you realised that your assailant had stopped on the other side of the door. You heard him rattle off two sets of numbers in another language and you wished you understood what they were. Because of your time with Tony, you were able to identify some of the numbers and the fact that your assailant was counting in Italian.Â
âAfter we solve this case, Iâm gonna bribe Tony to teach me Italian. If that doesnât work; Iâll teach myself.â
You looked over at Sonny and watched as his hand traced shapes on the cold concrete. With a sudden burst of clarity, you inferred that Sonny could communicate in Italian and he was tracing the numbers on the concrete so that they would stick in his memory.
Then the numbers became words and the words became a one-sided conversation. They sounded different as if the assailant had switched languages. You watched as Sonny mouthed the words as your assailant said them. You sent up a prayer of thanks to any deity that was listening for pairing you and Sonny together on this mission.
The conversation stopped and you switched your gaze from Sonny to your guns that were lying just out of reach. Again, you fought the temptation to grab them. You waited for any sound that would give you a clue as to what was happening on the other side of the door and then finally, you heard a car door creaking open, slamming shut and an engine starting.
You waited a few more heartbeats and listened as the sound of the car grew softer and softer. Throwing caution to the winds, your arm snapped forwards and you snatched the pistols from the ground.Â
You closed your eyes and breathed out a disappointed sigh as you felt how light they were. âHe took out the bullets,â you groaned as you handed Sonny his pistol.
âAnd we left our phones back at the station,â Sonny chimed in.
âPerfect.â You grimaced, flexing your right leg. Something hard pressed against your right ankle. It took far too long for you to remember what it was but when you did, a plan started forming in your mind.
You pulled up the right leg of your pants and pulled down your sock. âSaving the day as always, boss.â You grinned as you gripped the hilt of your hidden knife.
âYour boss encourages you to hide a knife on your body?â Sonny asked in amazement.
âItâs Rule 9.â You answered.Â
âOf course.â Sonny said wryly, rolling his eyes. âWhy am I not surprised?â
Next, you checked your gun, âOur attacker left the firing pin in.â Your grin grew broader as you removed the pin.
Cottoning on to your plan, Sonny stood up and walked over to the doors. There was a small gap that was letting some light in and you could see a heavy padlock hanging on a metal chain in the middle of the two doors. Sonny slid his hand through the gap and grabbed the padlock. He angled it towards you and you were about to use your knife and firing pin when Sonny offered you the firing pin from his gun.
âThis might work better.â
Touched by his gesture, you hid the knife behind your sock again and rolled down your pant leg before accepting the offered object.
âSo did your boss teach you how to pick locks too?â Sonny asked.
âNo. Another agent did that.â You responded as you remembered Kate. Thanks to her lessons, it didnât take you long to pick the lock and once the lock was open, you unhooked the padlock and detangled the chain. With a strong push from Sonny, the doors swung open and the two of you stumbled into the fading sunlight.
Sonny held up a hand to shield his eyes from the sunlight, âIâd say weâve got about two hours before sunset.â He estimated and then he looked around the street. âNot much is open but I know that thereâs a Dutch restaurant one block from here. The only problem might be the language barrier. The owners are on the older side and because theyâre not technically open for business yet, they may not talk in English, only Dutch.â
âThatâs not a problem. Weâll head there. You just keep concentrating on what you overheard while our assailant was talking.â
Sonny directed you to the Dutch restaurant and just as he predicted, the elderly couple that ran the place answered the door and greeted you both in Dutch.
Their eyes lit up when you responded in the same language and they beckoned you in, ushering you to a booth.  They murmured about how you didnât look well.
âHet spijt me dat ik je stoor.  Mag ik alsjeblieft je telefoon gebruiken?â You asked.
The man nodded and brought you their phone. He then disappeared into the kitchen while the lady sat down in the same spot that her husband did. Your fingers shook as you tried to dial Gibbsâ number. Noticing this, the woman spoke.
âJe bent hier veilig.â She assured you. âHaast u niet.â
Exhaling, you tried to dial Gibbsâ number again. This time your fingers cooperated and the call went through.
âGibbs.â
âBoss.â You were so relieved that you thought you would burst.
âWhere the hell are you Agent? Abbyâs been trying to reach you and Carisi! She figured out that the drug is a chemical compound of synthetic alcohol and Doxacurium! You left your phones here and then you and Carisi went off the grid.â You winced at the reminder that you had left your phones behind and you had unthinkingly broken Rule 3 while Sonny had unknowingly broken it.
âWe took the call about another potential victim but we were ambushed at the warehouse. Sonny was knocked out and his attacker force fed me some drugged lollies. Iâm pretty sure that the drug has almost completely left my system.â
You could picture the expression on your bossâ face. Worry would have transformed into rage the second you mentioned you and Sonny being ambushed. His mouth would be set in a thin line and he would have glared at everyone to be quiet as he listened to what you had to say.
âAfter I came to we realised that the doors were chained and locked shut so I picked the lock using the firing pins from our guns. Our attacker took out the bullets and left the empty guns in the warehouse with us. Iâm going to put Sonny on the phone. Our assailant spoke Italian as he dialled a number on his phone and then he had a conversation in another language.â
âIt was Spanish,â Sonny added helpfully as you handed him the phone. Needing no prompting, Sonny launched into the translated version of the conversation that heâd overheard after explaining to Gibbs that while he can communicate fluently in Italian and was able to identify the numbers that your attacker muttered as he dialled (Sonny relayed those to Gibbs), he could only get most of the conversation not the finer points due to some words being different.
As Sonny talked, the man came back from the kitchen holding two glasses of Kwast and some bread rolls with butter. He put the glasses along with sandwich plates and forks and knives in front of you and Sonny and looked at you two watchfully as Sonny hung up the phone.Â
Judging by the expression that Sonny wore, he understood that now was the time to thank his hosts and eat and drink. You received the same message.
Sonny leant over to you, âHow do you say thank you in Dutch?â
âThe best word to use in this context would be Dankuwel.â You whispered back.
The two of you spoke at the same time âDankuwel.â
âNot bad.â The man commented. âYou speak Nederlands well.â He said to you. âYou,â he faced Sonny. âNeed some more practice. Keep at it.â
âEat. Drink.â His wife commanded severely. âWe will keep an eye on you.â
She and her husband left the two of you alone and Sonny looked at the two of them nervously as they stood at the counter.
âWhat did Gibbs say?â You asked, taking a sip of your Kwast. The hot beverage slid down your throat easily and you hummed at the honey and lemon flavours.
âHe told me to tell you that we should sit tight. Theyâre gonna track the numbers. I heard Torres in the background talking about using an app called âFind My Phone.â Apparently it works even if the phone is off.â
âIt does.â You confirmed. âIâve used it in the past.â
âGibbs was quiet when I was talking.â Sonny revealed. âIs that a bad sign?â
âThat means heâs processing. He usually gets like that before an interrogation.â
âLet me guess. You have a rule for not interrupting your boss during an interrogation.â Sonny took a long sip of his Kwast and looked at the glass in shock. You chuckled at his surprised expression.Â
âI wasnât expecting it to taste like this.â Sonny divulged.  âI meant it in a good way. Itâs sweet and pleasant.â He added when he saw the look on your face.
âTo answer your question, yes. Thatâs Rule 22.â
âMaybe I should start creating my own set of rules.â
âSounds like a plan. You already know my first one.â
âAnd now Iâve got mine. Never go on a callout without eating something first.â Sonny used a knife to cut a roll in half and he used the same knife to butter the halves of the roll before lifting it to his mouth and taking a bite.
#my writing#my fics#ncis x svu crossover#the sounds of justice#rafael barba x reader#rafael barba#sonny carisi#olivia benson#fin tutuola#female reader#jethro gibbs#jimmy palmer#abby sciuto#tony dinozzo#timothy mcgee#ziva david#ellie bishop#nick torres#enemies to friends to enemies#mob au
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Finally finished this comic for class, hope youâll all enjoy it :) (and I really hope it wonât get flagged even tho I censored the ending-) (ok this is my second time posting this- second time the charm I hope :(( If you want the uncensored version you can just dm me)
Oh boy what a journey- I had to rewrite this so many times jgotjgpfjn I hope you little queer people will relate to this more than my very het very cis 50 yo male teacher who did not understand it one bit- (more on that along with the french version vvv because I need to rant a bit- ok a lot)
Ici pour la vo et mon sel a ce que je vois <3 anyway joyeuse pride et bravo les lesbiennes
That man did not understand the relation between the vampire narrative and the gay narrative (he did not see a link between the two and told me the second half in the 70s would alienate the audience that would be interested in the "vampire and gore" narrative ???), he told me "your greatest desire being a curse if it came to be makes no sense because the two words are complete opposites and thus a contradiction" ( sir???? That man never had a fantasy, hated someone viscerally or just heard of the concept of an *oxymoron* apparently ok cool cool), he did not know about the lavender menace (ok I was expecting that) but because of that he told me that having that long of a time skip was nonsense (like it's not a very cliché trope of the vampire narrative) and that it was not realistic that she only found *someone* after 150 years (u know, like homophobia, comp het or just slow self discovery are not a thing ??? Especially for a woman born and raised in the 19th century ??) (But ig that led to him telling me that I should consider that since I was an expert in my field (that field being lesbianism), I should not consider specific terms or reference to be understood by *most people* mhkglmglgkgkgkk guys I'm a lesbian expert now) and cherry on the top : he thought that it was not logical for her to be happier after becoming a vampire, because she ends up having to hide it and vampirism is a curse. (Never mind she killed her shitty husband, freed herself, and found a community ig). Overall he found it confusing, two story that have *nothing* to do with each other and not explained enough.
Like seriously I know I'm not good at writing (I usually don't do it very much-), that's why I choose to do a very cliché vampire narrative, and I was expecting to be called out on it (like I hit nearly every trope : killed someone accidentally, hiding your vampirism, the long ellipse, gay) not ending up having doubts I was even able to write french ??? He had some very valid feedback to give me, but the vast majority of them I just found baffling-
Oops sorry for this long ass text-
#btw#fuck terfs#just to be sure everyone is on the same page#and oh boy it's so much worst blurred oh god it's not that nasty#queer#lesbian#lgbtq+#web comic#saphic#comics#original comic#original art#original character#vampire#lesbian vampires#art#my art#Art School#digital art#cw blood
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GAY SPOCK REAL OR FAKE PLEASE READ
i havenât been an active tumblr user in about 3 years but SNW and the whole gay spock debate has been occupying enough space in my mind that i felt the need to inflict my opinion onto you all.
as a spirker myself, iâm not at all denying that the het romance arcs SNW is pushing for jim and spock are by no means my favorite. i dearly dearly wish that we wouldâve gotten at least SOME queercoding from SNW this season, but iâm also not as disappointed as some of you are with the choices the SNW team has made for spockâs character. iâve seen quite a few people begging for gay spock (bless u all) and canon spirk from SNW, which is unquestionably the ideal outcome for the series â and given the way both the writers and actors have reacted to and welcomed fan opinions and questions about where the jim/spock dynamic is heading, i donât think itâs unreasonable at all for us to be optimistic about the showâs direction. if sybok can be in a queer relationship, then weâve already gone miles past existing TOS canon in terms of queer rep.
admittedly, SNW has issues (ortegas show us ur girlfriend and the lesbian flag hanging in ur quarters!!! we all know itâs there!!), but i struggle to believe that the het romance arcs for jim and spock were written with the intention of convincing fans to ~let go of spirk~ or anything along those lines. in fact, i think the biggest issue that trek fans are having with SNW is wanting it to deliver on all the subtext and queercoding that existed in TOS on an implicit level explicitly and immediately. SNW is a prequel. itâs whole job is to set up and develop the relationships that appear in TOS; and it does an amazing job of this for the most part, especially in giving the female characters like una, christine, and tâpring traits other than crippling gene roddenberry syndrome. what iâm trying to say is that the SNW writers are doing a good job. yes, even (ESPECIALLY) with spock.
i get why people are protective of his character, i am too, but i donât understand the lack of faith and, honestly, lack of viewing comprehension, that iâm seeing from self proclaimed spock fans. if you were expecting SNW to give us fully formed Nimoy-Spock within the first two seasons, then iâm sorry, but youâre a little bit of an idiot. a lot of you both donât understand the purpose of the show (in general and in relation to spockâs development) and donât value the importance of long form storytelling. in fact, in my ideal world, spirk wouldnât even be together by the end of SNW. part of the value of the k/s dynamic in TOS was spockâs internal struggle with his feelings for jim, a struggle that defines his character, actions, and life throughout TOS and the movies. this is a struggle that isnât resolved until midway through the movies, and it wouldnât be doing justice to the canon that created spirk to have their relationship evolve into romance before the events of TOS.
spirk is, and always will be a long form story which derives its value from the fact that it is a Very Very slow burn. for the relationship to retain its value without being watered down by reinterpretation, it needs to have all the turns, pitfalls, and pining that it did in the original canon. although itâs entirely possible that the SNW writers have no plans of canonizing spirk, itâs also entirely possible that their plans are just a little more long term than what most of the community wants right now. i would far prefer a spirk that begins in 3 seasons of steadily evolving homoerotic friendship than one that jumps the gun and results in an unsatisfying and underbaked depiction of a relationship that deserves to be done justice.
TLDR: be patient!!! stop acting like SNW is actively taking spirk out behind the shed and shooting it!! SNW is already the best new trek to come out of the revival â give it a little more time and slack to build momentum and solidify its position within paramount and the fan community and youâll be happy you waited.
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on femcels and women's right to be horny (and have feelings in general)
i understand how being voluntarily celibate can be empowering especially for het women, but both men and women are in denial and believe women cannot be involuntarily celibate, even though the person who started the term was a woman named Alana. unfortunately now Alana's movement isn't about shy late bloomers, it's about stupid misogynist hateful serial killer rapist men. i hate that they took this term away from women.
why does everyone talk about Elliot Rodger but not Christine Chubbuck? why is a hateful misogynist serial killer tragic and overanalyzed and moralized and even worshipped while a sad, lonely woman who killed herself unimportant? in fact, many of the comments on a post about her suicide call her ugly or a horrible person, or worse, say they want to see the video, even asking where they can watch it. women's pain isn't real, it's just entertainment.
the way people talk about women's experience of romance and sexuality is very isolating for me. there's this belief that all women are swimming in dick and lusty DMs and men willing to drop everything for us and someone asked us to prom in high school and it's not true. i wish we could have more discussions about women who are late bloomers, women who are horny and unwanted and undesirable, women who are seen as below 'normal women' in a patriarchial society. if you aren't desirable, men may not see you as a sexual utility but they will still see you as free therapy, free to offload work on, and a resource to 'practice on' to learn to court and charm 'real women.' men ask for my number to pick my brain and drain me. to ask me to do their thinking and their work for them.
ugly women are invisible. sometimes this invisibility to men (and women) keeps me safe around them. sometimes it makes me want to curl up into a ball and cry because i've felt so inconsequential my whole life. like sometimes people see right through me.
i am not even that fucking ugly! i am black, and i'm flat chested with no ass, and my face is a little asymmetrical, and my top teeth need braces so i have a better bite, but i'm not even that fucking ugly! i dress nice, and i wear makeup (sorry radfems, i'm weaning myself off), and i smell nice! i'm not even that fucking ugly! i have reverse body dysmorphia or something. i look in the mirror when i've feeling like shit, and think wow, i'm actually kind of cute. would i get followers on social media? no. but i'm not even that fucking ugly.
it's deadly to your self-esteem to know that men would fuck anything and you're below anything. you are not just a woman, which is an object, you are a defective object. it's hard to talk about this because people see sexual exploitation as wrong, but don't care about emotional exploitation. when men aren't sexually active, it's a crisis and we have to talk about legalizing prostitution because women are resources not people, when women aren't sexually active, it doesn't matter because women don't have needs and feelings. especially as a black woman, i am expected to give give give. the only reason my body is not one of things i'm expected to give is because no one wants it. everything else? give give give. ever read the giving tree?
and everyone says well if it bothers u so much there has to be a guy willing to fuck you (use you as masturbation sleeve) somewhere in the world! after all u are warm body w pussy someone will come along to use u as blowup sex doll! go on tinder and sell ur body for $3.50 coffee! you want to have mutally enjoyable sex with someone who cares about you and maybe loves you and doesn't just see u as wet holes w legs? fuck you, uppity bitch! no wonder you're single!
u tried asking men out? they said no? well u must have went for 6 foot 9 figures 12 inch dick man? is that right? no? ofc you did, lying bitch!
no one would ever say this shit to a man. keep your head up bro! these hoes ain't loyal! lemme tell u what, take a shower and get a job and the bitches be flocking to u! i was just like u bro, then i met my hot wife! get ur passport and get out this country, these modern women are ran-through bitches, find urself a submissive traditional woman from (insert Slavic or Asian country).
the idea of femcels, especially dissatisfied femcels, makes terminally online men so so angry. because it suggests that women do have feelings and needs. and we shouldn't. femcels are transgressive. we're not supposed to exist. even funnier, it suggests that some of them whining and raving, have actually been turning down perfectly good women who don't fit their porn-informed standards.
if i say i want to have a romantic experience at least once before i die, i'll be told i'm just brainwashed or dick-struck (never seen one in real life) or some other kind of delusional. you don't really need it. you don't really want it. what is with the obsession of forcing women into self-denial? nothing tastes as good as skinny feels! stop fantasizing about getting to have a sloppy makeout session, you don't really want it. of course women are better than men at reducing their carbon footprint, we're used to limiting our consumption.
but it's not true, i fucked myself up already believing i didn't deserve to experience desire and have a sexuality because i was too ugly and you're not pushing me back there again. being horny is my right, i'm human too.
#ranting#femcel#female hysteria#radfem#radfems do touch#i'm not even that fucking ugly#desirability politics#desirability#misogyny#tw suicide
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